It's that time of year again, kids! I love halloween. It is by the far the best holiday. Costumes, candy and booze. Good times.
Every year I have a little problem. I can never think of costume in a timely manner so I'm either in a frenzy working at the last minute or I come as something completely uninspiring. This year a similar thing happened. Word spread around early that there would be a party so I immediately thought of the horse skulls I have collected. If I could somehow make a mask...but again I put it off for way too long. I was running out of time with no progress and it looked like my horse head mask would just be another halloween pipe dream. But then out of the blue I was saved. You see my tattoo man is a practicing artist with skills in painting and mask making. He makes masks similar to traditional buddhist ceremonial costumes, and after applying my tattoo he offered to make me a costume.
I immediately began to sketch, which felt good. I haven't done that in a long time. Later, at the party, a friend would comment that I looked markedly like the evil spirits in "Time Bandits" a freaky 80's fantasy film by the one Terry Gilliam. Perhaps I was subconsciously gravitating towards that look. I don't know. I just explained it as a demon and left it at that. I was doubtful as I showed my sketch to Enkhbat on the Wed. before the party. This guy rocks. In a manner of three days he built a strap system for the skull, sewed a badass cloak with a proper hood (why are all the hoody sweatshirts in the world so lacking in the hood department? Gahd.) and he crafted the most amazing weird appendage gloves in accordance with my design. He just sewed some bizarre plastic (maybe windshield wipers?) to gloves and then went to town on them with some silicone glue. The result were some truly frightening bony lookin' claw thangs. Outstanding.
Donning my new duds on the night of I decided to stalk the mean streets of UB alone to the party. I don't know. Something compelled me to show Mongolia a taste of our pagan past. This proved disastrous. I was stopped on my way by a Mongol youth in military fatigues. He asked me if this was my halloween (?) to which I responded with gutteral moans and grunts. I guess he didn't like that. He threw a kick which landed squarely on the snout of my mask. It jarred loose but didn't fully dislodge. In anger I yelled "WTF?!" He responded with a sucker punch to the eyeball which has left a blue spot. A flash of white light and my head snapped back. I was more shocked than hurt. At this point the skull was off my head and dangling by a string that ran down my back and hooked to my belt loop. This was intended to counter the weight of the skull and keep it from falling forward. Unfortunately this feature would cause more issues with my assailant.
He began to walk away, presumably having seen a police officer or something. I watched him go and, satisfied with the distance he put between us, turned on my way. Perhaps foolishly but certainly stubbornly (and true to my character) I replaced my damaged mask and continued onward. Suddenly I felt a sharp tug and I was laid out on my ass. Bastard returned and attacked me from behind! Fucking coward. At this point he certainly could have done me in. Considering this it is unclear to me what his intentions truly were. However I regained my feet. In my costume I was basically worthless as a fighter (wahwah, I'm in a costume). Furthermore I just wanted to make it to the party with my gear intact. I kept yelling "Why?" at my attacker as he continued to strike at me. He must not have been well trained. His kicks were slow and clumsy, easily blocked. The one kick he did land hit my stomach but he had over extended himself so it was without power. Lets be realistic. The young man walked away unscathed and I with injured pride and a new shiner. However, under different circumstances I believe the out come would have altered significantly.
Somewhere in the melee we had a conversation. The details are blurred by adrenaline and disbelief so I can't quite speak for the man but I believe his concern was the horse skull itself. He spoke of respect for military which in retrospect might make sense. The Mongols used mounted warriors to great success which is a large source of pride to the people here. Furthermore, traditionally it is taboo to mention the dead or show the trappings of dead people/things. In this light my costume was greatly offensive to his sense of national and military pride. Fair enough. My bad.
I swiped away a half assed punch causing one of my creepy appendages to caress his face. This seemed to disturb him. Miraculously, instead of renewing his assault he turned away. Whatever. I made my way again having discarded the offending skull.
Some friendly Mongolians who had witnessed the event pulled up in a car. They returned my skull and offered to taxi me to my destination. You might think I'm crazy to have entered a strange car after having been assaulted but that's how taxis work around here. They're just anybody with a car looking to make a quick Tuug. Furthermore these guys were benign, I can tell. So they carried me safely to the party and that's the end of that little bit of ultra(strike that!)violence.
The party was sweet. I made a dramatic entrance in full costume, flailing about blindly and "clawing" at the guests. Everybody loved my costume and several claimed it the best of show. The girls were sexy and willing to dance with this creep. I was stoked to see so many creative and awesome costumes. It was everything it was meant to be. One love, family!
